From KAMON@heprb.physics.tamu.edu Sat Jun  2 14:41:31 2001
Date: Thu, 24 May 2001 10:46:53 -0500
From: KAMON@heprb.physics.tamu.edu
To: rlc@cdfsga.fnal.gov, frisch@hep.uchicago.edu
Cc: kamon@physics.tamu.edu, kamon@heprb.physics.tamu.edu,
     p-mcintyre@physics.tamu.edu, toback@fnal.gov, slee@fnal.gov,
     maxi@milo.phys.ksu.edu, slava77@cdfsga.fnal.gov, khotilovich@softhome.net,
     cbattle12@yahoo.com, julian_londono@hotmail.com, jsg6228@neo.tamu.edu,
     KAMON@heprb.physics.tamu.edu
Subject: Comments on CDF 5450 (draft PRD)

Dear Ray:

Our group does not have time to discuss your draft paper (CDF 5450, posted on
May 10). So I went through the paper.  Here are stylistic comments.

Teruki

=======================

[1] Abstract
    Line 2: b-quark--> "b" in italic
            85 pb-1 --> "pb-1" in \rm

    MSSM is not defined.

[2] Author List
    Please make sure the latest version that includes Dave Toback.

[3] Section 1.
    P.2, Line 1: b-quark--> "b" in italic
    P.2, one line before Eq.(1): "t" in italic in the MET symbol.

[4] Sec. 2.5
    Missing Et (\met) is a magnitude of the negative of ..
                        --------------
  
    A "period" after "3.6"
  
[5] Table 1
    b-tag --> "b" in italic


[6] Sec. 3.1
    \pi^{\circ} --> \pi^{0}  (to be consistent with the use on P.8- Sec.3.5)

[7] Sec. 3.4 and 3.7
    Z^0 \to e^+ e^-  --> "Z" in italic


[8] Sec. 3.5
    3rd line from the end of the section: \pi^{\circ} --> \pi^{0} 

[9] Sec.5.1
    Supergravity-inspired (SUGRA) models [19]
    ---> modles inspired by supergravity (SUGRA) [19]

[9] Sec.5.1.4
    Z \to e^+ e^-  --> "Z^0" (to be consistent)
   
    2nd line from the end of Sec 5.1.4: PDF --> PDFs

[10] Sec.5.2
     E.M.  --> electromagnetic

[11] P.36
     efficienceis", --> efficienceis,"
     process",      --> process,"

[12] Sec. 8.1
     the $Z$ is required ..--> "Z^0" (to be consistent)
     the $Z$ peak
     Which $Z$ electron

[13] Sec. 8.2
    ``W''  --> W in italic
    Z \to e e  --> "Z^0 \to e^+ e^-" (to be consistent)
    MRSD0' --> MRSD0$^{\prime}$ (for consistency with P.26)

[14] Table 17:
    ``W''  --> W in italic

[15] P.41
    5th line from the bottom: ``W''  --> W in italic


[16] Fig.11
     the $x$ axis --> The $x$ axis

     There are no model numbers in Table 19 !!

[17] References
     (a) missing a comma after the volume number - Ref. 1,2,4,18,21,22,30
     (b) Ref. 1: 1999 --> (1999)
     (c) Ref. 4: "The" D\O\ Collaboration
     (d) Ref. 8: \eta = -ln[tan(  )]  .. use "[" and "]" and "="
     (e) Ref. 14: Boldface for Phys. Rev "D" (for consistency)
     (f) Ref. 18: 207-220 --> 207
     (g) Ref. 27: Boldface for NIM "A" (for consistency with Ref.28)
     (h) Ref. 30: 39-91 --> 39  
     (i) Ref. 31: "comma" after \etal (or before "Proc. ...")
     (j) Ref. 33: .. 1997, 2v.) --- What is "2v." ?


[18] Sec. 8.3  about SHW
     Since the SUSY/Higgs workshops, the SHW program has been used several
     physics studies for Run II by several groups.  Is that good idea
     to list those studies (= publication) in your paper for public awareness?
     Let me know if you need the list.